A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Wedding
by green eyed dragon
Summary: Harry and Hermione are getting married. But is there something Harry doesn't know? future SLASH Chapter 3!
1. the first web

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters  
  
Author's Note: So i don't have a title for this one. anyone care to offer a suggestion? i could really use one. the owner of teh title will get full credit. thanks!  
  
Harry/Hermione getting married....Hermione wants Draco to stop wedding so can marry ron. Draco doesn't...then does.  
  
Hermione sat in a big room, surrounded by her family and friends who were reassuring her everything was going to be okay. She was still nervous.  
  
When Harry had asked her to marry him, she got so excited that there was a huge diamond in front of her that she automatically said yes. She did notice Ron walked away angry. The redhead hadn't shown his anger when they had asked him if he was okay though, and he had happily agreed to be Harry's best man.  
  
That night, when Hermione met up with Ron at his place he took his anger out. He attacked her as soon as she got in her room and kissed her fiercely.  
  
"I thought we agreed that you were going to break up with him yesterday," he accused.  
  
She hung her head, "I was, but then there was this big shiny diamond in front of me and I..."  
  
"A diamond, is that all you care about?" Weakly he sat down on the couch and sighed. "Then I guess we can never be together."  
  
Her eyes widened in fear, "Don't say that Ron. Of course we can be together. If you can't buy me a diamond, I don't care. As long as I have you," Hermione smiled and placed a kiss on Ron's lips.  
  
The boy grabbed her arms and pulled her towards the bed ripping off her clothes as he went.  
  
(Sorry kiddies no sex for you.)  
  
The next morning, he woke up and kissed her on the head. "I love you."  
  
Hermione smiled up at him, "I love you too."  
  
"Don't marry him. Please find a way to stop it." She sat up in deep thought, while he massaged her shoulders.  
  
"I got it!" she said. "But I gotta go now if I want it to work." She got dressed quickly and kissed Ron one last time before walking out of his house.  
  
She apparated to the flat she shared with Harry and climbed into bed before he woke up. Hermione watched him as he slept, loving the way he looked so angelic. She stroked his hair gently and smiled when he whispered her name.  
  
Finally Harry's eyes fluttered open and he looked up at her "Mione, what time did you get in last night?"  
  
She leaned down and kissed him on the lips. "Around 12. Sorry I forgot to call, Lav, Parvati and Ginny took me for a girls' night out."  
  
"Oh, ok." Harry said. Guilt immediately washed over Hermione when she saw how trusting Harry was. "Are we doing something today?"  
  
"I was thinking we could take a walk through Diagon Alley and then stop for dinner somewhere after work."  
  
"That sounds nice, "Harry agreed, "We haven't been out in the longest time."  
  
They sat in companionable silence for a moment until Hermione nudged Harry. "Get up lazy, you are going to be late!"  
  
He threw a pillow at her before getting up and showering. As she walked into their kitchen, she thought of Ron and how much she loved him. Then Harry's innocent face came into her mind and a tear slipped down her cheek.  
  
The plan had to work; it was the only way Harry wouldn't get hurt. Hermione said a few spells and breakfast started cooking itself. Harry came down fully dressed and grabbed a plate.  
  
After he finished eating he made sure he had all his stuff and walked over to Hermione.  
  
"Thanks for breakfast. I love you," he said as he kissed her quickly on the lips.  
  
She smiled and said, "You too. Your welcome. See you after work."  
  
He gave her one last hug and left. Immediately after he left, she cleaned up and took a shower herself. When getting dressed she caught sight of a moving picture of Harry, Ron, Draco and herself from the beach.  
  
They had become friends with Draco after seventh year, when he had fought alongside them at the final battle with the Dark Side. He had stood at Harry's side and helped kill Voldemort.  
  
Harry had his arms around Hermione's waist and had his head against hers. Draco and Ron were shaking hands. She noticed how Harry closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss her. She also closed hers, but opened them shortly after. She looked at Ron, who looked back at her jealously. Hermione then looked away from Harry kissing her and saw Draco standing off to the side, making faces at the kissing couple. He used his wand to draw a picture of Hermione hanging from a rope by her neck in the sand.  
  
She took some powder from the bowl over the fireplace and said "Malfoy Manor."  
  
Hermione's head appeared in Draco's fireplace. "Harry?" he asked eagerly. His face fell when he saw Hermione. "Oh, it's you. What do you want?"  
  
"Your help." She told him.  
  
"Why would I help you?" Draco scowled.  
  
"Because there is a chance you can get Harry." Draco glared at her.  
  
"What are you planning? Because if there is even a chance that you hurt Harry, I will make sure you suffer."  
  
"If you are around, then he can't get hurt," She calmly said.  
  
"Fine. Meet me for lunch later today, twelve thirty at Dominic's." Hermione nodded and pulled her head out of the fireplace.  
  
Hermione walked into her room to get dressed and took one last look at the picture. Harry and Her were kissing again, and this time she had her eyes closed. For the first time, she noticed Harry's were open and were staring at a certain blonde.  
  
A/N: wow. This took a long time and the chapter isn't even that long. I hope you like it! please help me with the title.  
  
Love,  
g.e.d  
  
Please Review! 


	2. wedding plans

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.

Author's Note: I want to thank everybody who reviewed, except one person. I would also like to thank everyone who gave me titles.

Kaaera- haha thanks a lot!

Sheridan Ledding- Ah, Sheri, nice to hear from you, as always. Thanks so much for the title! I loved that idea it made me laugh too.

Ally- I know he is. And btw I'm glad you are not using your user name anymore. I told you it was a bad idea. Now I guess you must change it to IloveMichaelPhelps.

Woodland-Dew- thanks for the suggestion! The next one will be longer, because I wont be so pressed for time ok?

Lady Nicole Malfoy- very cute name, thanks

To the question mark dude: did you really think that review was going to stop me from writing? Oh you did? TOO BAD, cuz it didn't work. Next time you leave me a review, I would appreciate it if you actually had the balls to leave a name. Thanks!

**A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Wedding**

Hermione walked into Dominic's right on time and spotted Draco's silver blonde hair immediately. She saw him stirring his tea impatiently.

"Mud- Granger, you finally made it. Took you long enough. Tell me, did my hair turn gray yet?"

"Shut up Malfoy, we are here to talk Harry," Hermione snapped. She ordered a ice tea, before turning to her blonde companion.

"Well?"

"Ok, I don't know why I am telling you this, but here goes. For the last year I have been cheating on Harry with Ron," Draco scowled and reached for his wand. "Wait. The reason why is because I don't love Harry, I love Ron."

"Then why are you marrying Harry?" Hermione sighed.

"Well, something happens to me when a big diamond gets shoved in my face. I couldn't help but want it. Now I need to get out of this marriage."

"Did you plan everything already?" Draco asked as the waiter came and put his food on the table.

"Yes, we sent the invitations out two days ago. Everyone should be getting them today," As if on cue, a white owl swooped in to the restaurant and perched on the back of Draco chair.

"Hedwig!" Draco exclaimed. He pet the bird a few times before giving her a piece of bread and her watching nuzzle against his face. "Go on."

Hermione counted off on her fingers, "The caterers have been called, the florists, the musicians and the Minister of Magic. My bridesmaids dresses have all been picked out and Harry's guys have their tuxes ready."

Draco frowned for a second at the thought that Harry hadn't asked him to be in the wedding. Hermione, knowing what Draco was thinking put a hand on his shoulder.

"Draco, he would have asked you to, but there was so much history and he didn't want to hurt you." She cocked her head a moment in thought. "Though, you were the first person he put on the guest list. I wonder why..."

Hermione was cut off, as Draco pulled away very roughly from her comforting hand and sneered. "I don't need your pity, Mudblood."

Hermione sighed again. "Well, what are we going to do about Harry?"

"WE are not going to do anything. When is the wedding?" Draco asked impatiently. Hermione gestured at the invitation. Draco smirked and opened it.

All of a sudden, pretty music started playing and a women's voice spoke up.

"You,"

"Draco Malfoy," Harry's voice came out of nowhere.

"Are invited," she continued to the wedding of:"

"Hermione Granger," Hermione's voice said as the girl sitting at the table blushed red.

"and" the woman said.

"Harry Potter," Harry said, and then giggled. Draco smiled when he heard Harry's laugh.

"The date, time and any other information is listed below," The woman said after the music stopped. "Please RSVP soon!"

The table then got quiet as Draco read the invitation. "The wedding is on Saturday?!" Granger are you crazy that's in two days? I'm seductive, but I can't get him to fall in love with me in two days!"

"I'm not asking you to get him to fall in love with you. I just want him to fall out of love with me. Listen, I must go. Fire call me if you have any ideas. Um...thanks a lot?" Hermione rushed out of the restaurant to leave Draco to think over everything.

Draco watched her go. 'I don't have to get him to fall in love with me? What if I want him to? Did she ever think how Harry is going to take this?' Draco paid the bill and left. 'Some friends he has, all they care about is themselves.'

"I gotta make sure Harry doesn't get hurt," Draco told himself. He apparated to the Manor and grabbed a handful of floo powder. Stepping into the fireplace, he yelled "Harry's place!" before disappearing.

Author's note: this was kind of short and kind of rushed, but I really couldn't think of a better way to do it.

Next chapter: Draco and Harry meet, the seduction begins.

Love,

g.e.d

Please Review!


	3. The Second Web

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters

Author's note: again, sorry for the delay but guess what? No more English so that means I will update faster! Here comes my plot bunny…um man? Hopping down the bunny trail…ok so it doesn't rhyme! Sue me. I'm kind of in a crazy mood now…

ImCrazyFun- what? That's kind of freaky…a black beard. Now I have to incorporate that into the story!

Gabrielle Potter-Malfoy- awwe! I love sweet Draco too.

Kaaera- hahahahaha! That is a very funny scene. I like it. Yea Harry is not creative, but he's great anyways!

Pila1414- awe thanks! haha the seduction is coming. Here…just scroll down

BSH – if you're a reader and like this kind of thing: good guess…if you're a flamer: POO ON YOU.

Sheridan Ledding- of course Sheri dearest. I liked that one its funny. And it matches the rest of the story.

Ivin Artemis Draconis- im sorry dear…blame my English teacher. Well me too I could have tried a little harder. :looks sheepish: BAAH.

kazillion- haha but that's what's fun about being a girl…we don't look gay if we squeal. Haha!

**A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Wedding 3**

Draco stepped out of the fireplace and wiped himself off. Immediately he felt a pair of lips meet his. He recognized the taste of the person and started kissing back, wrapping his arms around the other's waist. He was automatically led to the couch where his shirt was ripped off.

His partner started kissing down the front of his chest and he moaned in delight.

"Harrrrrry," The blonde moaned. Harry looked up and smiled. He wrapped his arms around Draco's neck.

"I missed …you today…why couldn't …you come …over earlier?" Harry asked in between kisses.

Draco moaned again in response. "I had a meeting."

"Oh," Harry stopped kissing and opted to just hold his lover, laying his head on Draco's shoulder. "With who?"

"Gra… just some business person. You wouldn't know her," Draco lied. Harry kissed him again. "Well, you wouldn't want to know what she's like."

"Why not?" Harry asked innocently.

"Because she is a liar and a bad person," Draco explained.

Harry looked at him, confused. "If she's so bad then why are you doing business with her?"

Draco sighed, "I'm just doing it to help out a friend. He is involved with her and I don't want him to get hurt."

Harry just smiled. "My hero."

He gave Draco another kiss and curled up in between Draco's legs.

'My poor baby.' Draco sadly smiled, stroking Harry's hair. 'He doesn't know what is really going on. If he finds out it will break his heart.'

Harry started humming when Draco stroked his hair. Draco looked at Harry in confusion.

"Harry…are you purring?" Harry laughed.

"No I'm humming," He turned over in his spot so that he was facing Draco.

"What were you humming?"

Harry leaned in like he was going to kiss him but then turned towards Draco's ear. He started singing.

"You are so beautiful to me…can't you see," Draco smiled and listened as Harry whispered softly in his ear.

Harry got off his lap after he finished the song and started walking away from Draco. He motioned for Draco to get up and follow him. The blonde obliged and watched Harry walk straight into the bedroom.

Draco smiled and quickly followed. However when he reached the bedroom Harry wasn't there. He looked around the room but couldn't find him. Draco sat down on the bed, wondering if he was just imagining Harry came in here or…if Harry was hiding.

"Harry come out, you're not going to scare me," Draco goaded. "You know it never works." He waited.

The only thing Draco could hear was his heart, which was beating very loud and fast.

"Harry?" All of a sudden Harry appeared from thin air. Draco's mouth opened wide as he was pushed backward onto the bed. "Where'd you come from?"

"Does it matter?" Harry asked as he kissed Draco's neck.

"Not anymore," Draco laughed. He caught Harry's mouth and kissed him until they both were breathless.

"Harry." Draco moaned his name again as Harry continued his trail down Draco's chest. " I…I love you."

Immediately Harry stopped. He backed away from the blonde sprawled on the bed. Draco picked up his head to look at Harry's retreating figure. "What?"

"Draco, why did you ruin it?"

"Ruin what?"

"This! We were perfectly fine just fooling around. You know I was just curious. I never meant for it to go on longer."

Draco realized what had happened. He felt his eyes start to water. "Oh yeah? Well if you never meant it then why did it happen?"

Harry turned away. He couldn't bear to see his friend cry. "I don't know. I got caught up in everything." He spun around the face Draco. "You were never supposed to develop feelings for me."

"Well that is kind of a problem considering I have had those feelings since school!" The tears were pouring down his cheeks. "And you knew I did when we had started this up."

"So I knew? I guess I just hoped that you had forgotten them in the time being."

"Well I didn't obviously," Draco attempted to regain some sort of composure. "I don't se why you are getting so upset at this anyway. It's not like you have to reciprocate the feelings."

"But then I know that you are still there and alone," Harry explained as he went to sit by Draco.

Draco gave Harry a disgusted look. "What do you think? That my life revolves around you? Well here's news. It doesn't." Draco stormed out of the room and Harry followed him.

"Draco I never meant…" He was cut off by the furious blonde.

"Listen Harry, I'm here because I care for you and don't want you to get hurt," Draco explained.

"What are you talking about?" the dark haired boy asked.

"Granger-" This time Harry cut Draco off.

"Hermione! She's going to be home any minute. Draco you have to go." Harry started pushing Draco towards the fireplace. The blonde turned around and forced Harry's hand off his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere until you listen to me," Harry was eager to get rid of the man so he nodded. "As I was saying, there is something you need to know about Hermione."

"Harry! I'm home!" Harry's eyes grew wide and alarmed. He grabbed Draco by the arm and dragged him into the other room.

"Harry." He frantically fished around until he found his invisibility cloak.

"Here, put this on." Against Draco's wishes he wrapped the cloak around the blonde and closed it tight.

"Where are you baby?" Draco scowled when he heard Hermione's voice

"Harry stop!" He wrapped his arms around Harry, successfully trapping him. "There is something really important I need to say." Harry gave up, sagging in the blonde's arms. "Granger is cheating on you."

Harry looked shocked to say the least. Then he turned angry. "How dare you say that? Hermione would never do that to me. She loves me with all her heart. She would never do something like that."

"Bloody hell! Harry I forgot something in the car." Harry visibly calmed.

"I swear she is. Harry I wouldn't lie to you." Harry's eyes widened and his mouth formed an "o".

"I get what's going on here." Draco looked confused and released Harry. "You're just saying this to get me to leave Hermione and be with you." He looked evilly at Draco. "Well it's not going to work. Now you have to leave." He resumed his earlier action of getting Draco to the fireplace.

"See you around."

"But, Harry you have to believe me!"

"Malfoy Manor!" Harry called out as he threw floo powder at Draco. He gave a wave as the blonde disappeared.

"Hermione?"

"In the bedroom!"

"There you are." Harry threw his arms around his fiancé and gave her a big kiss.

"What's wrong Harry? Did you have a bad day?"

"No, I just missed you a lot." Harry squeezed the woman's body to himself, trying to convince himself that this felt better than a man.

He was having a bit of trouble.

A/N: haha yay! All done with this. It's a doozy, really long. Hope you guys love every second. I had fun writing it.

I can imagine how Harry would have trouble too, after feeling Draco ;)

Please Review!

**NEXT CHAPTER**: the name is: You Were Kissing Who? In which…you will have to wait and see. Muahahaha

PS: I apologize for all the bad puns at the top….


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